dad and son sms

Dad: if you pass in the exam, I will present you one cycle.
Son: if I fail?
Dad: I will present 10 cycles.
Son: why?
Dad: to open cycle shop.

student sms

A typical student flips a con and think.
Head- will go to sleep
Tail- will watch a movie
Stand- will listen music
Stays in air- I will study.

penis sms

Burial worker : Your husband's coffin isn't closing due to his erect penis.
Wife : Cut it & put in his ass because that's the only hole in the town he hasn't fucked.

bachelor sms

Don't marry and make a woman happy instead remain a bachelor and make several women happy.

blind boy sms

Blind boy giving sweet to all. Aunty came from bathroom without dress to get sweets, knowing he's blind. Aunty: what's special? Boy: I got my eyes.

sec and con sms

Son: daddy what’s the difference between confidence and secret?
Daddy: dear, you are my son that is confidence. Your friend ramu also my son that secret.

breast definatin sms

Define breast? B-beautiful R-round shaped E-equipment A-amazingly S-soft with T-tasty milk.

mosquito sms

Lovers went to film; a mosquito enters girl’s skirt. Guess where it bites? Naughty mind always think bad, it bites on boys hand.

sports sms

Which is most difficult sport in the world to watch? Women’s doubles tennis- 9 balls bounce at a time and you don’t know which one to watch.

girls milk sms

Six benefits of girls milk. 1. Cat can’t drink. 2. No need of glass. 3. No expiry date. 4. Packed in beautiful container. 5. No need to boil. 6. 1+1 offer.

divorce sms

Divorced couple arguing for son’s custody. Wife: I gave him birth so he is mine. Husband: if I put coin in cool drinks machine and cool drinks comes, is it mine or machine.

7 inch sms

Which instrument is 7 inches long? Goes in to a wet hole, moves front and back, makes white foam of liquid? Toothbrush!

child and chicken sms

What is the difference between a child and chicken? Chicken is an result of a sitting hen and cuild is a result of standing cock.

sardar sms

A beautiful wife in bed spread her legs wide and asks sardar do you know what I know? Sardar: I know you naughty; you want to sleep alone on entire bed.

whisper sms

Ten girls jumped into swimming pool. Suddenly, all water disappears why? New whisper ultra absorbs all water.

friend sms

Husband come home, finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoot his friend to death wife said “if you behave like this, you will lose all your friends one day.

heaven and hell sms

What is heaven?
Thousand of girls and buckets of beer.
What is hell?
When you come to know that the buckets have holes and girls don't.

finger smsf

Nurse put patient finger in her mouth, after blood test. Patient starts dancing, nurse asks: why you are dancing? Patient: next is urine test.

suprise sms

Husband: I am going out for five days. Wife: ok but don’t surprise me by coming back early otherwise you will be surprised.

boy and girl sms

Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher: “can kids of our age have kids?”
Teacher replied ” NO Never!!”
Boy said to girl : “see i told you not to worry!!!!”.

zip sms

Do you feel boring? Thinking what to do? Open the zip; insert your two hands in-between the zip take out your book from your bag and study.

dress sms

Women’s life is very hard. Morning: wash the dress. Noon: dry the dress. Evening: iron the dress. Night: remove the dress. Midnight: search the dress.

divorce sms

Judge: why do you want divorce?
Man: she doesn’t satisfy me on bed.
Judge: is it true madam?
Lady: dam it! The whole colony is happy, only this idiot has problems.

rape sms

Explain rape: it’s a difficult job, something like playing golf with a moving hole.

hook sms

What’s the difference between hook in cricket and hook of bra? One sends ball out of boundary and another keeps balls within the boundaries.

old sms

90yrs old man: my 18yrs wife is pregnant, your opinion.
Doctor: I tell you a story. A hunter in hurry took an umbrella instead of gun. He saw a lion and lifts the umbrella and pulls the handle. The lion drops dead.
Old man: that’s impossible someone else must have shot it.
Doctor: exactly now you understand.

define sms

Define bra: under shoulder ball holder.
Define underwear: under hip banana grip.
Define panty: jungle river cotton cover.

girl and boy sms

Why boys walk fast and girl speak more? Because boys have one extra leg and girls have one extra mouth.

girl sms

Girl is the best vehicle in the world front two bumpers, back two bumpers, self lubricant when hot, finger touch ignition, monthly automatic engine oil change, every type of piston fits, highest mileage of nine months in just two ml fuel.

hole sms

Monkeys and girls are same, because they fight only for banana. Boys and rats are same because they are always searching for new holes.

class sms

Biology class master: all of you draw the male reproductive system. Student: sir please close your zip, girls are copying.

husband wife sms

Wife read a book and tells her husband, a bull fucks 300 times a year. You don't do quarter of that. Husband: does the book say the bull fucks the same cow?

doctor lady sms

Lady: my boobs look smaller.
Doctor: come daily for one hour I will suck it and make it bigger.
Lady: my husband penis is also small, shall I bring him.

condom sms

Salesgirl: sorry sir you can't smoke here.
Customer: but I bought cigarette from this shop.
Salesgirl: we shall sell condom also but it doesn't mean you start fucking here.

calcium sms

Boy: how much calcium is there in woman's breast? Girl: I don't know but it has enough calcium to help man boneless things stand up.

bar dancers sms

Bar dancers husband was very angry because all jokes were about him; he asked his wife, tell me one joke without my involvement. His wife said: I am pregnant.

teacher n boy sms

Teacher: why did you laugh?
Boy: I saw one strap of your bra.
Teacher: get out of the class for 1 week.
Two boys laughed, Teacher: why did you laugh:
boys: I saw both straps. Teacher: get out for 1 month. She bent down to take chalk, jony started walking out.
Teacher: jony, why you are going out?
Jony: what I just saw I think my school days are over.

boy n girl sms

Girl: my right leg is lunch and left leg is dinner, what you will like to have?
Boy: I would like to have snacks between lunch and dinner.

boy n girl sms

Girl: my right leg is lunch and left leg is dinner, what you will like to have?
Boy: I would like to have snacks between lunch and dinner.

boy and aunty

Boy: aunty why was uncle lying on you last night?
Aunty: he was checking my temperature.
Boy: did he get it right? I saw the thermometer leaking.