SMS COLLECTION

dad and son sms

2009-07-03T03:00:00.000-07:00

Dad: if you pass in the exam, I will present you one cycle.
Son: if I fail?
Dad: I will present 10 cycles.
Son: why?
Dad: to open cycle shop.

student sms

2009-07-03T02:38:00.000-07:00

A typical student flips a con and think.
Head- will go to sleep
Tail- will watch a movie
Stand- will listen music
Stays in air- I will study.

penis sms

2009-07-03T02:37:00.002-07:00

Burial worker : Your husband's coffin isn't closing due to his erect penis.
Wife : Cut it & put in his ass because that's the only hole in the town he hasn't fucked.

bachelor sms

2009-07-03T02:37:00.001-07:00

Don't marry and make a woman happy instead remain a bachelor and make several women happy.

blind boy sms

2009-07-03T02:36:00.000-07:00

Blind boy giving sweet to all. Aunty came from bathroom without dress to get sweets, knowing he's blind. Aunty: what's special? Boy: I got my eyes.

sec and con sms

2009-07-03T02:35:00.000-07:00

Son: daddy what’s the difference between confidence and secret?
Daddy: dear, you are my son that is confidence. Your friend ramu also my son that secret.

breast definatin sms

2009-07-03T02:34:00.002-07:00

Define breast? B-beautiful R-round shaped E-equipment A-amazingly S-soft with T-tasty milk.

mosquito sms

2009-07-03T02:34:00.001-07:00

Lovers went to film; a mosquito enters girl’s skirt. Guess where it bites? Naughty mind always think bad, it bites on boys hand.

sports sms

2009-07-03T02:32:00.001-07:00

Which is most difficult sport in the world to watch? Women’s doubles tennis- 9 balls bounce at a time and you don’t know which one to watch.

girls milk sms

2009-07-03T02:32:00.000-07:00

Six benefits of girls milk. 1. Cat can’t drink. 2. No need of glass. 3. No expiry date. 4. Packed in beautiful container. 5. No need to boil. 6. 1+1 offer.

divorce sms

2009-07-03T02:31:00.000-07:00

Divorced couple arguing for son’s custody. Wife: I gave him birth so he is mine. Husband: if I put coin in cool drinks machine and cool drinks comes, is it mine or machine.

7 inch sms

2009-07-03T02:30:00.000-07:00

Which instrument is 7 inches long? Goes in to a wet hole, moves front and back, makes white foam of liquid? Toothbrush!

child and chicken sms

2009-07-03T02:28:00.002-07:00

What is the difference between a child and chicken? Chicken is an result of a sitting hen and cuild is a result of standing cock.

sardar sms

2009-07-03T02:28:00.000-07:00

A beautiful wife in bed spread her legs wide and asks sardar do you know what I know? Sardar: I know you naughty; you want to sleep alone on entire bed.

whisper sms

2009-07-03T02:26:00.001-07:00

Ten girls jumped into swimming pool. Suddenly, all water disappears why? New whisper ultra absorbs all water.

friend sms

2009-07-03T02:26:00.000-07:00

Husband come home, finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoot his friend to death wife said “if you behave like this, you will lose all your friends one day.

heaven and hell sms

2009-07-03T02:25:00.000-07:00

What is heaven?
Thousand of girls and buckets of beer.
What is hell?
When you come to know that the buckets have holes and girls don't.

finger smsf

2009-07-03T02:24:00.000-07:00

Nurse put patient finger in her mouth, after blood test. Patient starts dancing, nurse asks: why you are dancing? Patient: next is urine test.

suprise sms

2009-07-03T02:23:00.000-07:00

Husband: I am going out for five days. Wife: ok but don’t surprise me by coming back early otherwise you will be surprised.

boy and girl sms

2009-07-03T02:22:00.000-07:00

Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher: “can kids of our age have kids?”
Teacher replied ” NO Never!!”
Boy said to girl : “see i told you not to worry!!!!”.

zip sms

2009-07-03T02:21:00.001-07:00

Do you feel boring? Thinking what to do? Open the zip; insert your two hands in-between the zip take out your book from your bag and study.

dress sms

2009-07-03T02:21:00.000-07:00

Women’s life is very hard. Morning: wash the dress. Noon: dry the dress. Evening: iron the dress. Night: remove the dress. Midnight: search the dress.

divorce sms

2009-07-03T02:20:00.000-07:00

Judge: why do you want divorce?
Man: she doesn’t satisfy me on bed.
Judge: is it true madam?
Lady: dam it! The whole colony is happy, only this idiot has problems.

rape sms

2009-07-03T02:19:00.000-07:00

Explain rape: it’s a difficult job, something like playing golf with a moving hole.

hook sms

2009-07-03T02:18:00.001-07:00

What’s the difference between hook in cricket and hook of bra? One sends ball out of boundary and another keeps balls within the boundaries.

old sms

2009-07-03T02:18:00.000-07:00

90yrs old man: my 18yrs wife is pregnant, your opinion.
Doctor: I tell you a story. A hunter in hurry took an umbrella instead of gun. He saw a lion and lifts the umbrella and pulls the handle. The lion drops dead.
Old man: that’s impossible someone else must have shot it.
Doctor: exactly now you understand.

define sms

2009-07-03T02:16:00.001-07:00

Define bra: under shoulder ball holder.
Define underwear: under hip banana grip.
Define panty: jungle river cotton cover.

girl and boy sms

2009-07-03T02:16:00.000-07:00

Why boys walk fast and girl speak more? Because boys have one extra leg and girls have one extra mouth.

girl sms

2009-07-03T02:15:00.002-07:00

Girl is the best vehicle in the world front two bumpers, back two bumpers, self lubricant when hot, finger touch ignition, monthly automatic engine oil change, every type of piston fits, highest mileage of nine months in just two ml fuel.

hole sms

2009-07-03T02:15:00.001-07:00

Monkeys and girls are same, because they fight only for banana. Boys and rats are same because they are always searching for new holes.

class sms

2009-07-03T02:13:00.000-07:00

Biology class master: all of you draw the male reproductive system. Student: sir please close your zip, girls are copying.

husband wife sms

2009-07-03T02:11:00.000-07:00

Wife read a book and tells her husband, a bull fucks 300 times a year. You don't do quarter of that. Husband: does the book say the bull fucks the same cow?

doctor lady sms

2009-07-03T02:10:00.000-07:00

Lady: my boobs look smaller.
Doctor: come daily for one hour I will suck it and make it bigger.
Lady: my husband penis is also small, shall I bring him.

condom sms

2009-07-03T02:06:00.000-07:00

Salesgirl: sorry sir you can't smoke here.
Customer: but I bought cigarette from this shop.
Salesgirl: we shall sell condom also but it doesn't mean you start fucking here.

calcium sms

2009-07-03T02:04:00.000-07:00

Boy: how much calcium is there in woman's breast? Girl: I don't know but it has enough calcium to help man boneless things stand up.

bar dancers sms

2009-07-03T02:00:00.000-07:00

Bar dancers husband was very angry because all jokes were about him; he asked his wife, tell me one joke without my involvement. His wife said: I am pregnant.

teacher n boy sms

2009-07-03T01:58:00.003-07:00

Teacher: why did you laugh?
Boy: I saw one strap of your bra.
Teacher: get out of the class for 1 week.
Two boys laughed, Teacher: why did you laugh:
boys: I saw both straps. Teacher: get out for 1 month. She bent down to take chalk, jony started walking out.
Teacher: jony, why you are going out?
Jony: what I just saw I think my school days are over.

boy n girl sms

2009-07-03T01:58:00.002-07:00

Girl: my right leg is lunch and left leg is dinner, what you will like to have?
Boy: I would like to have snacks between lunch and dinner.

boy n girl sms

2009-07-03T01:58:00.001-07:00

Girl: my right leg is lunch and left leg is dinner, what you will like to have?
Boy: I would like to have snacks between lunch and dinner.

boy and aunty

2009-07-03T01:58:00.000-07:00

Boy: aunty why was uncle lying on you last night?
Aunty: he was checking my temperature.
Boy: did he get it right? I saw the thermometer leaking.

innocent man sms

2009-06-28T00:13:00.001-07:00

An innocent man watching blue film for the first time after marriage and see his own wife in it.

boy and girl sms

2009-06-28T00:09:00.001-07:00

Who is a true music lover? Ans: a girl is singing in a bathroom while taking bath and a boy near the keyhole is using his ears and not his eyes.

what is sex? sms

2009-06-28T00:09:00.000-07:00

What is sex? Its science with wife, its art with girlfriend, its commerce with prostitute and its social service with aunties.

guy and girl sms

2009-06-28T00:07:00.002-07:00

A guy and girl had sex poem competition.
Guy: two times two is four, hour plus five is nine, I can put mine in yours, but you can’t put yours in mine.
Girl: two times two is four, hour plus five is nine, I know the length of yours but you will never know the depth of mine.

doctor sex sms

2009-06-28T00:07:00.001-07:00

Doctor: do you watch your husband face during sex? Lady: I did once and he looked very angry. Doctor: why? Lady: because he was watching from the window.

girls sms

2009-06-28T00:06:00.000-07:00

Contest in a girl's college: write a short essay which contains religion, sex and mystery. Winners essay: oh god, I am pregnant, I wonder who did it.

girls t-shirt sms

2009-06-28T00:05:00.002-07:00

A few quotes on girls t-shirt:
there s a face above this, don't forget.
Object here appear bigger than they are.
I made you look at it.
F ck all that is missing is u.
Don't try to find sun here, its not mountain. This one is really tough for Edmund Hillary.

condom and crickter sms

2009-06-28T00:05:00.001-07:00

What is the difference between a cricketer and condom? A cricketer drops the catch and a condom catches the drops.

kid sms

2009-06-28T00:05:00.000-07:00

Kid by chance enters into parent's bedroom and is shocked at what he sees. He shouts at his mom and you scold me for just sucking the thumb.

professor sms

2009-06-28T00:04:00.000-07:00

Prof: to keep your character good, think every woman as your mother.
Student: but thinking every woman as my mother will make my fathers character bad.

son mom and dad sms

2009-06-28T00:03:00.003-07:00

Dad brought a robot which slaps a person who lies.
Dad: son, where were you?
Son: School, robot slap. Son: film.
Dad- which one?
Son: sai baba, robot slap again. Son: "A" film
Dad: what? I have not seen such films, robot slaps dad.
Mom: forgive him dear after all he is your son, robot slaps mom.

sexy sms

2009-06-28T00:03:00.002-07:00

Completing engineering is like a girl pregnant everyone will appreciate the outcome, but no one knows how many attempts were made.

wife sms

2009-06-28T00:03:00.001-07:00

Who's guilty? Wife dreaming in the night suddenly shouts "quickly my husband is back" man get up, jumps out of the window and realizes, dammit I am the husband.

rape sms

2009-06-28T00:03:00.000-07:00

Define rape: it’s an operation without co-operation for the insertion of projection into depression without permission for the production of next generation.

boy and girl sms

2009-06-28T00:02:00.000-07:00

A boy wanted to have sex with girl friend ashamed of his small penis decided to bring girl friend in dark place opened his zip and put his penis on girl friend hands.
Girl friend: No thanks, I don’t smoke.

women sms

2009-06-27T23:55:00.000-07:00

What's common between sun and a women's underwear? Both are hot, both look good while going down, both disappear by night.

bra sms

2009-06-27T23:49:00.000-07:00

Customer: my wife needs a bra but I don't know the size. Salesgirl: touch my breast and try to calculate. Customer: oh I forget he needs panties too.

traffic sms

2009-06-27T23:47:00.000-07:00

One man married lady traffic police. Friend asks how your 1st night was. She collected Rs.100 from me for over speed, Rs.200 for wrong side entry, Rs.500 for no helmet.

penis sms

2009-06-27T23:44:00.002-07:00

Who is senior's vagina or penis? Answer: vagina because penis always stands up when he sees a vagina, so respects the seniors.

sex sms

2009-06-27T23:44:00.001-07:00

A note in the sex magazines shop: please hold the magazines with both hands while reading

boy sms

2009-06-27T23:42:00.001-07:00

A boy and animal went to river to take a bath. As he removed his clothes all animal laughed at him.
He asked: why are you laughing at me?
Animals: your tails in front.

boobs sms

2009-06-27T23:42:00.000-07:00

Teacher: why cow looks tensed after giving milk? Student: madam, if some one presses your breast for I hours and don't fuck, how do you feel.

lipstick sms

2009-06-27T23:41:00.000-07:00

Why do women put red lipstick on their mouth? To inform men stop this is not right hole.

panty sms

2009-06-27T23:40:00.000-07:00

Advertisement by Panty Company: we are not the best in the world but we are closest to the best thing in the world.

boy and girl sms

2009-06-27T23:39:00.000-07:00

Boy: if I kiss you and run away then what will you think?
Girl: I will think that a fool instead of attending the full paper just attended the one mark alone and failed.

undress sms

2009-06-27T23:38:00.000-07:00

Officer: madam swimming is prohibited in this lake. Lady: then why dint you tell me when I was removing my clothes? Officer: well, that's not prohibit

women sms

2009-06-27T23:37:00.000-07:00

There are two things men really like women to do in hurry. Dress and undress

teacher and student sms

2009-06-15T09:46:00.000-07:00

Teacher: explain responsibility.
Student: mam your blouse has four buttons, if three buttons break down the entire responsibility will be on the fourth one

funny and sexy sms

2009-06-15T09:41:00.001-07:00

Boy: if I kiss you and run away then what will you think?
Girl: I will think that a fool instead of attending the full paper just attended the one mark alone and failed.

funny and sexy sms

2009-06-15T09:41:00.000-07:00

Boy: if I kiss you and run away then what will you think?
Girl: I will think that a fool instead of attending the full paper just attended the one mark alone and failed.